Alternative Version

I think the above is missing something, so heres something I've pieced together from the above and some other sources.(Replace HE with SHE were appropriate)

(First verse)
Here's to (Name),
he's a horses ass.
Why was he born so pitiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking good to anyone,
he's no fucking good at all!
(chorus)
Sooo... drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.
drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.
(Repeat chorus until they've downed all their beer)

University of Waterloo and University of Western Ontario Version

I think the above is missing something, so heres something I've pieced together from the above and some other sources.(Replace HE with SHE were appropriate)

(First verse)
Here's to (Name), Here's to (Name)
Here's to (Name), he's a horses ass.
Why was he born so pitiful?
Why was he born at all? (hey! hey!)
He's no fucking use to anyone,
he's no fucking use at all!
(chorus)
Sooo... drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.
drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.
Why are we waiting, he must be masterbating
drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.
drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.
(Repeat chorus until they've downed all their beer... if they're not done by the end of that... it's just sad...)

There is actually a second verse if they hesitate in drinking

"Why is he waiting

He must be masterbating

we aint going to stop until he pours it on his head,

pours it on his head pours it on his head"

Repeat lines 3 and 4 until he pours the beer on his head

A Different Take

Here's to fucking (Name)
Fucking (Name), Fucking (Name)
Here's to fucking (Name) the best of us all
He eats it, he beats it MY GOD HE MISTREATS IT
Here's to fucking who DRINKS LIKE A BITCH
so drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker
Drink drink drink drink drink!

---

University of Toronto

Very similar to Waterloo's and Western's, makes sense, they are fairly geographically close.

Here's to (Name), Here's to (Name)
Here's to (Name), he's a horse's ass.
Why was he born so pitiful?
Why was he born at all? (hey! hey!)
He's no fucking use to anyone,
he's no fucking use at all!
Sooo... drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink. (repeat a number of times ... threeish)

In the case of a female, replace <he's> with <she's> and <motherfucker> with <sillybitch>

Then--to the tune of "good king wenceslas"

(louder) Why are we wai-a-ting, we could be masturbating,
(softer) Oh why are we wai-a-ting oh why do we wait.
(louder) WHY ARE WE wai-a-ting, oh why are we waiting
(softer) Oh why are we wai-a-ting oh why do we wait.

Then repeat with "where are we going" , and usually their cup, hardhat, or other concave object full of beer, or mostly beer, is done by now.


A version which we heard in Australia

Hail to brother (Name), brother (Name), brother (Name)!
Hail to brother (Name), who's with us tonight!
He's drunk, & he's horny, he will get laid by morning!
Hail to brother (Name), who's with us tonight!
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink!

If the person drinks it all before end of the song " drink motherfucker.." everybodys says.. "he's alrigt". otherwise

they'll say something else which I dont remember. I was to drunk :)

In the case of it being a girl, the "brother" is switched to "sisiter," and the "he's" to "she's.


University of Auckland, New Zealand

They have a song here that's very similar to the Australian one:

Here's to brother (Name), brother (Name), brother (Name)!
Here's to brother (Name) who's with us today!
We love him
We hate him
We love to masturbate him
Here's to brother (Name) who's with us today
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink
(etc)

If the brother (or sister) starts to choke and/or gag, the crowd switches to yelling

Finish it! Finish it!

"Griffith University"

Here's to (Name), he's true blue
He's a piss-pot through and through
He's an arsehole so they say
He tried to go to heaven but he went the other way
He went down motherfucker, down motherfucker, down motherfucker, down... etc

Replace "he" with "she" etc


"University of Technology, Sydney" (Sydney, NSW, Australia)

Here's to That Guy, he's true blue
He's a piss-pot, through and through
He's a bastard, so they say
Tried to go to heaven but he went the other way
He went DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN ...

That Guy = person's name if known.

If he takes too long, stop shouting "DOWN" and start chanting slowly "SIIIP" (sip).

If he looks like he may vomit, taunt him with "Chunder, na na na na-ah na na" (to the tune of the song "Thunderstruck" (AC/DC))

Substitute he/she etc as appropriate

————

“Most U.K. universities” (United Kingdom)

We like to drink with NAME, because NAME is our mate
And when we drink with Name, he downs it all in
Eight!
Seven!
Six!
Five!
Four!
Three!
Two!
One!
Ayyyyye!/Boooo! (Drinks the drink / doesn’t finish)